It’s been pretty bad so far. I’m coming in with 6,001 words tonight. Apologetically, I haven’t been checking in with my novel like I should. I got tired, bored, and overwhelmed somewhere along the way. There is this bad habit I have of not finishing the things that I start, and I believe that is a habit that is meant to be broken through the blood of Christ. Honestly, it’s like a stronghold or something.
What also stalled me is inspiration. I don’t want to use anything as a muse since that just makes my writing a bit more frustrating. The Kdrama I was watching for 10 weeks finally ended, and my heart is tinged with sadness because it was a good, solemn ending to all that drama–an end to all that inspiration and those things I could have and would have done to make that show better. All of my swirling thoughts can easily be translated, manifested in manuscript…
But, I closed out that chapter of my life in a few short moments and a wistful serenade.
I have, more or less, emptied my mind of all inspiring yet unoriginal concepts and star-studded yet lackluster ideas taken from various plot devices I’ve consumed over the years. I decided just to write. Not to get tied up in the “whys” and “why nots.” Those questions I should answer for myself–not have someone else answer them for me (unless it’s God, then that’s a whole different matter). Tonight, I was able to get what I believe is half a chapter in. Reciting my plot back to myself, I got so excited I was inspired to write. It was a tough debate: I was deciding whether to study Japanese or write. It’s too late for my mind to comprehend Japanese (it comes semi-naturally during the day and wanes off during the night hours along with my coherency in English), so I might as well just stick with English for the night.
Nonetheless, I am still in the process of tweaking a few things on my novel. I finally decided that my protagonist is an adopted daughter, and I’m wondering if she should know that or not. Then there’s also the matter of why she was adopted in the first place, but it seems obvious being that she and her adoptive sister look somewhat alike, but then again…they do not! The Characters post has a rough idea of what the “twins” look like. Then there’s me just throwing in characters as I see fit. I’ve already fired a maid and added a very prim and proper lady who may play an anti-heroic role in my story. I’m not quite sure on that, yet, but I’m not planning this novel at all, so it won’t matter until I edit it. I’ve had the delightfully exhausting experience of under-planning and the amazingly frustrating experience of over-planning. Zero planning and a handful characters and an alternate world. Some twists, some turns, some quirks, and perhaps an unexpected pinch of sugar. The extemporaneity of it all does keep me amused.